me and the elk hitchiked to glencoe last week.  it was all very 'ethnic' (for the benefit of those of you who will appreciate quite hwat i mean).  We built fires (tried), camped by a river, swam in a river (kindof), hiked, read poems, wrote poems...man i am so on the edge.   It was really very cold as well...like cold to the extent of thinking...'if i cried would it help?'.  The answer is no.  So anyway- here are some of the people you might have met if you were me.  Or elk.

1)Young laydee from Dundee- PHD student in Stan- 3 kids- apparently i offended her by asking about them...i recon if i had 3 kids i probably would want to talk about nothing more.  Maybe that is a lie.
2) old man in a BMW.  enough said.
3)The bench man.  he bilds benches. he will show you every bench he built along the way.  Likes to state the obvious.  Doesn't like Dundee.  I felt the need to very excitedly shout "isn't that the ship that went to the antarctic?!'.
4)Guy in a rental car- very snazzy green, moved loads of stuff around to fit us in.think he was very bored- he really liked how neat the farmers keep their farms and fields in scotland.
5)LORRY!! The man smelt like Jenna's dad- it was nice to feel a little bit like i was at home in a 6" lorry.  He didnt like the lorry, his was being serviced and he thought the rental one was dirty.  Actually he could hjave been saying anything his accent was so thick- we understood every third sentence?
6)Asian dude- very eccentric- what was he doing on a backroad in the middle of nowhere in scotland?  Apparently he lived there. all very odd.
7)Park keeper, about a 2 minute trip. 
8)THE MOST WONDERFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD.  In her landrover, going to pick up hay, one of the most educated, intellectual, interesting, captivating, glamerous, earthy and sad women i have ever met.  Like someone from a book. a really good book.  We got out of her landrover and knew everything about everything.  Stunned silence, broken by me saying 'if you are not in love with her there is something wrong with you'. 
9) Nice old chap who told us all about moving to Scotland because his wife felt like it was 'home'...she died a few months ago and he scattered her ashes on the west coast.  He seemed very peaceful.  There was a field with sheep in eating turnips.  I thought the turnips were rabbits.  Got very excited at there being so many rabbits. 
10)The most miserable man you ever met.  I dont know why he stopped.  I also cannot think of a sincgle thing in the world which would have made him happy.
11)A guy who reminded me of sideshow bob.  Not for any reason though- he didnt look like him, or talk like him...i don't need to have a reason though, its my story.
12)The sweetest little lady you ever met, really pretty with enormous, round, glasses- the size of her head.  In an orange car.  Going to fort william to pick up her daughter from her parents. she told us all about glencoe and how she used to camp there too.

...and on the way back...(n.b. its raining very very very heavily- elk is in his dead german's coat/sleepingbag, and i am in his raincoat because i took sunglasses instead of a coat, we are wet, and cold, and have been waiting about an hour, i keep losing 'i spy'...)
1)A really sweet french couple, they are on a year out teaching in schools in glasgow, have just been up to Skye...he has the most amazing eyes i have ever seen. We really didnt fit in their tiny car.
2)An Australian dude in another hire car, not at all clandestine Australian- straight out of the mold.  Perfect fit for the hat and shorts. Really nice guy.
3)The most awesome family. Mum looks like Dar Williams and is cuddling youhgest daughter who has scratched her eye, she smiles a lot.  Dad in front with other daughter navigating- he is a bit posh, and laughs a lot at his stories- typical dad.  They had left 'the boys' hiking, and were headed home for soup with 'the wimpy girls'.  I wanted them to take us home.
4) Aging rock star in a white van.  Talks for an hour straight about EVERYTHING in the world.  Had a number one in the 1980's (feels like he-e-e-eaven).  Tells us to never get into an unmarked white van- like his.  Hates alcohol (good job we didnt finish the brandy along the way like we planned) and drugs- he is NOT A SHEEP. politics are crap. Religion is wrong. Why do the Palestinians hit themselves on the head? He doesn't have a tv- it rots the mind (he saw the Palestinians hitting themselves on the head on tv).  His band are playing in Dundee soon. He likes Thin Lizzie.  He loves the native Americans because they are like the Scots- he hates Americans- he is overwhelmed because he thinks elk is native american ('i thought it when i saw you'), he has a spiritcatcher, man he loves that he has met a real kindred spirit.

and then we got the bus because we were late. the bus took a lot longer than more lifts would have.

i was really suprised by the people who picked us up- a lot of them had hitched themselves.  I spent half the time really feeling like the cheekiest person in the whole wide world, but i guess no one had to stop for us- and a lot of lot of lot of people didnt.

also went to London last week- Les Mis, Sigur Ros, Soho, the Generator hostel, Old friends, new friends, drunk friends telling old friends (whilst clutching their arm) 'you have been on tv...like gloria hunniford'...

and now- 10,000 words of essays.  up the creek.
debs